bryan bird's blog
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20 comment(s):

Shave yer head!

Seriously, nothin' says lovin' like a dome o' chrome.

-SPD

(As part of a long line of early onset male pattern baldness guys, I'm counting the days until I need to shave mine)

By  Anonymous, at Mon Jan 10, 05:27:00 PM 2005  

I agree! Shave it off! Then get yourself a pair of slick sunglasses and walk around like a badass... or Kojak without the cigar. When Tom went bald, I thought he would look strange, but it turned out really hot. You'll be surprised at the results!

If it's still cold when you go bald, lemme know and I'll knit you a little cap!

By  Kristy, at Tue Jan 11, 08:01:00 AM 2005  

"but it turned out hot"

I suppose that's a matter of opinion... :D

{vvvvvein!}

There was a disturbingly large number of hairs in the drain catcher this morning...

By  Bryan, at Tue Jan 11, 08:06:00 AM 2005  

I'm not a huge fan of the bald look, but I think bald is better than the look of patchy semi-fallen out hair. So, looks like it's time to break out the old razor. Hopefully, you won't have any pulsating blue veins up there that you never noticed before... :)

-Justin

By  Anonymous, at Tue Jan 11, 09:13:00 AM 2005  

Gah, back off, Occam, it's not noticeable yet.

mr. pulsatin' like an iMac power button in sleep mode

By  Bryan, at Tue Jan 11, 09:22:00 AM 2005  

Count me as a vote for shavin' it too--and I've actually done it, so I know what's involved.

It'll take you about 45 minutes every 3-4 days to keep it short enough, but it will also save you about 5 minutes every morning AND you won't have to buy shampoo.

Cut it short with some kind of trimmer first... a lot of Norelco razors have a "sideburn trimmer" attachment that works well for this, but I didn't have one so I had to use scissors. Ouch that hurt!

For the actual shaving step, I recommend you just pick up a disposable razor and work really slowly--there's just too much for the average electric to handle. Make sure to use plenty of shaving cream or, again, ouch. Change blades every few times you do it, and always work slowly because cuts up there (a) suck, (b) hurt, and (c) bleed for a while.

If you ever get to 6 or 7 days since the last time you shaved, you're gonna have to get the trimmer out again.

Well, that was excruciatingly detailed.

By  tom, at Tue Jan 11, 10:24:00 AM 2005  

You probably won't have to reshave every 3 or 4 days. Tom's hair grows like nobody's business, hence the current dirty hippy look. And don't forget to put some aftershave or that aftershave lotion stuff on your head afterward to avoid irritation.

The ladies love it, and they'll start touching your head for good luck. Giggedy Giggedy!

By  Kristy, at Tue Jan 11, 12:16:00 PM 2005  

Kristy, I have to say that my world was turned upside down when Tom looked like the dirty hippie and Shawn looked like the clean-cut upstanding member of society. What's next, cats lying with dogs? GT attending candlelight vigils for world peace? Bryan eating an entire meal?

By  Anonymous, at Thu Jan 13, 09:55:00 AM 2005  

What next? GT buying a Mac? Nick spending less than $500/week on video games? Justin not being an ass? meh heh heh

By  Bryan, at Thu Jan 13, 10:05:00 AM 2005  

First off, I'd just like to say that I for think guys just slowly balding is great... the absolute zenith of class and savoir faire. I mean, just the other day I had a busload of supermodels swooning over my own slowly balding hairdo. I later found out that the bus was actually a piece of pizza, but that's beside the point. Add to the list of unlikely events the following, submitted for cadre approval: 1.) Bryan and Justin conversing for an entire five minutes without repeating their conversation from the previous day(s) and without saying the exact same thing at the exact same time. 2.) Tom becoming a Drivers Ed instructor. 3.) Nick passing gas in the vicinity of Shawn without issuing a formal apology.

- GT

By  Anonymous, at Sat Jan 15, 04:17:00 PM 2005  

Gah, everyone has to hate on my driving abilites! Now I know how Hick feels about the fart jokes :)

By  tom, at Sat Jan 15, 05:53:00 PM 2005  

"1.) Bryan and Justin conversing for an entire five minutes without repeating their conversation from the previous day(s) and without saying the exact same thing at the exact same time."

Oh come now, the same could've been said of you and me in college. Brrrrrrrrright juicy red strawberries? Donna Reed style house? {{PAPERS!!}} Though admittedly, most of our repeated and quoted phrases were started by me. On purpose, unlike Nick's notable quotables.

Continuing the theme:

What next?
GT cooking a meal that didn't come premade in a frozen box?
Nick going a day without playing WoW?
Matt going a day without going to the gym?
Justin drinking less than five gallons of soda (not pop) per day?
Jason counts?

By  Bryan, at Sat Jan 15, 10:35:00 PM 2005  

What the....?!!?! DAMMIT! I hate this "counting" crap!

-Jason

P.S. Shave your head. It's gonna' be easier in the long run, plus no one will comment about your receding hairline :)

By  Anonymous, at Sun Jan 16, 04:35:00 PM 2005  

Now now, it's not our fault you went home every weekend and couldn't take part in our weekly Friday adventure to leave the dorm. Who knows where we might end up? Meijer? Big Boy? KFC? The possibilities are endless! (endless defined as limited and predictable) To illustrate the point:

B: Does anyone else need to go to Meijer?
GT: Yeah, I need more pop because Nick drank all of mine, even though he has a 24-pack in his fridge, a whopping 25 steps away from my room.
B: OK, well who all is going then
N: You, me, GT... I'm not sure about Tom... Jason doesn't count...
J: gah!
N: What? You don't!

By  Bryan, at Sun Jan 16, 07:32:00 PM 2005  

More likely, you'd have ended up at Arby's.

Looks like they're putting in an Arby's over there GT. Arby's is pretty good, GT! I like Arby's! Maybe we should go to Arby's!

By  tom, at Sun Jan 16, 08:56:00 PM 2005  

Arby's Arby's Arby's!

By  tom, at Sun Jan 16, 08:57:00 PM 2005  

If GT had simply acknowledged Nick's comment the first time, it wouldn't have been a problem. I mean, we had mentioned several times that it would've been nice to have an Arby's in Bowling Green, so I maintain that it was worth noting its construction.

But, had that happened, we wouldn't have such classic Nickquotes as:

ARBY'S ARBY'S GT THEY'RE BUILDING AN ARBY'S BACK THERE TURN AROUND I HAVEN'T HAD ROAST BEEF YET TODAY GT GT GTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Did I say Nickquote? I meant GTstory. It's like history, but with the exaggerated details that only GT can provide:

GT: Grunt, and then a purple unicorn flew into my car and Nick rode away on its back while watching a movie on the unicorn's built-in DVD player. And the unicorn was fat.

By  Bryan, at Sun Jan 16, 09:20:00 PM 2005  

Gah, unicorn with built-in DVD player!

That sounds like something Steve Jobs would sell. But only if the DVD-player were slot loading. And made of transparent plastic. And if the unicorn were made of brushed aluminum.

By  Anonymous, at Mon Jan 17, 09:58:00 PM 2005  

Two months later, Microsoft would announce HorseXP, in which they bolt on some airplane wings to a horse, and tie a DVD player to it with baling twine. It would be black and have lots of tacky fins and blue LEDs. It wouldn't be able to fly very far without crashing, but PC users would buy them in droves because "it's cheaper and does the same thing."

:P

By  tom, at Tue Jan 18, 12:47:00 PM 2005  

That's it, punk. You and your ibook are so sleeping on the couch tonight.

By  Kristy, at Tue Jan 18, 02:19:00 PM 2005  

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